The ballad of Bob and Chunky monkey(don’t look until after you read the Gibraltar post and only for mature audiences because it might be scary)

This is Bob:

This is CHUNKYMONKEY(Oh this computer has the gall to suggest I, me made a typo:mad:) :

Just so you know I found and photographed these guys in the wild while they were playing with dolls and having a tea party. This is just what they look like as harmless infants in a good mood, if anything these are like celebrities because of how handsome and angelic they look. You don’t want to see the adults when they’re mad.

The true alien history of your planet(It’s not mine I have long-since transcended mortal boundaries as such): When I first heard this story from my father I was dubious about how this was the resting place of kaiju before he showed me a huge construction site(or at least that’s what it appeared to be) that had all kinds of security. Even then I still harbored doubts but those were all dropped and stomped on when we saw the veritable army of soldiers running towards it in full kit which denoted them as elite infantry due to the massive packs on their backs filled to the brim with 14, military grade pillows for every part of their body(You need your ankle pillows, shoulder pillows, bum pillows etc.) Now that you know the level 7 government clearance truth you will sadly need to be eliminated, no offense. The remaining aliens have since gone a bit mad and now have goals to take over the world. This is firsthand communication heard by Bob: “We wants it, we needs it, the big mudball floating in space.” Since your end is near already I guess you can be privy to level 8 clearance. The first piece is that these aliens form words by smacking feces with a stick. Number 2 is that an alien was abducted and forced to be inspiration in the Lord of the Rings book and then to perform Gollum in the movies.