Our first day in Malaga/mostly just the train ride there(It used to just be called Malaga but I was writing a lot so we had to make a separate post for that.)

WARNING”: The omniscient and magnificent author of this was in a terrifyingly good mood while writing this, potentially due to an overdose of toxic waste(Don’t criticize me! I need to take my daily vitamins!) Most of you are currently oblivious to this but in time you will come to dread the sugar-rushed moments of his eminente, definitely humbleness(Why didn’t anyone cut this out! Oh yeah, hehehe… I was supposed to do that.): Emperor Finn!!! “ -End of Warning-
I’ve noticed that in these great European cities were we tend to use trains and buses often and then we take a significantly longer version of these modes of transportation. Case in point we took a 5-hour, international bus ride from France to Spain and now arriving in Malaga via Train. A train, which, I think was superior to a cross continental, overnight plane flight as it was much more spacious, let us actually choose our meals, and best of all: Free WiFi, the pinnacle of Quantum Physics(Okay Quantum Physics has nothing to do with WiFi and I have no idea why I put that but my brain functionality is at an all time low/the evil, better version of me says I’m actually at a high/I was wondering if it is grammatically valid to embed parentheses inside of parentheses/Is it?/ Please post a comment).

EXTRA WARNING: You must read every nanometer of this page and recite it to Emperor Finn in full the next time you see him. If you fail you will be needing to say it to the headsman’s axe! And as an added penance you must refer to His Lordship as either his Eminence or Emperor or something in between or better and whenever writing about Him you must capitalize the H in Him and his and the such. Back to the paragraph
I am willing to wage war in the name of free WiFi, unparalleled in suffering are those who dare charge for the lifeblood of existence(AKA WiFi). All hail the great indomitable lord of Earth(After me of course): WiFi(#ComeIntoMyStrangeVan,IHaveFreeWiFi.OkayMisterStranger!). The only cons(But then again how can there be con’s in the face of freeee weeeeefeeeee!!! The answer: Humans are creatures of eternal, self-inflicted, psychological suffering. Always wanting more! MORE! MORE! *Maniacal cackling*. *Ahem* I got a bit carried away there)being the fact that it didn’t come with a private gym, a library of infinite everything, and we mustn’t forget about the state-of-the-art indoor futuristic waterpark(And much more but I’ll spare your sanity ;D) Now continue the reading.

(Oh great, not even off the train yet and still almost as long as my other posts…Although I kind of expected that and actually I’m tempted to make the font super huge just to say I wrote an insanely long piece except I can’t find out how to do that oh well, another day puny mortals!.) After we got off the train and in the ten minute downtime waiting for our Uber(They made us wait without any screens, I mean what monster starves a proper and cultured human of stimulation for TEN MINUTES!!!! And on the other hand there are, only four fingers whereas the other one had 5, or was it 3? I don’t remember, well I guess it’s the short-term memory I don’t have kicking in. And I’m not sure why this has to do with fingers either) my dad enlightened me to the fact that the drivers also rates the passenger(I again have no idea why I’m including this)and that he had a nearly perfect score except for one time when one of the people he was riding it with complained about the van’s smell(This is impossible as, being an acquaintance of my father the guy should have been immune to event the most demonic of smells) resulting in a low score(boohoohooo). Aaaanyway, back to the show! When our ride started we first noticed that the streets are sooooooooo tiny(why am I repeating letters in words so much? I’m just in the mood to.) and most of them are one-way(Did I spell that right). ———Reverting to history/ just basic logic mode——— *Eloquent CoughCough* Historically speaking roads were generally sized down compared to zos of ze modern age(Man I really hope the read underline doesn’t show up once this is published because I have so much of it.) due to it only needing to compensate for pedestrians/peasants(peas haha) and the odd carriage or two which logically takes of less room than a JEEP(All rights reserved. Copyright 2025) unless, that is, the pediatric peasant pedestrians had a few too many full grown men for breakfast, lunch and dinner(because that’s the only way to explain how a person is as big as a Ford without being Wells who can inflate himself at will.) and somehow managed to survive a heart attack(Don’t try this at home kids) because of the number of hearts consumed(It’s seriously not healthy). Well when we arrived at our temporary home(actually, is a temporary home a home or a house?) we entered to find an absurdly large apartment for the size of the building. We left the building to get dinner which consisted of croquetas(look it up) and other things that I don’t remember. Afterwards we got turrón(again, look it up) and Gela- why does this keyboard keep suggesting Gelatin instead of- oh my goodness it did it again. I guess… I’ll have to*Groan of anguish and foreboding of the stuff I just don’t wants to do*… do it… manually. Gelato! Oh I’m so exhausted. Well we got Gelato and went home and went to sleep the end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Goodbye!

PS: While looking through photos we took while trying to remember what happened during our first day in Malaga because of my aforementioned short-term memory/amnestic syndrome(yeah I’m a science boi now) that I totally have. The only pictures we found were of us eating Gelato hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah…)

PPS/PS^2: Does anyone feel like Uber reminds you of a squished potato?

PPPS/PS^3: Does the second paragraph look to be smaller than the first? It might just be that my brain got a little dent in the section I use to perceive that paragraph(Uhuh, I have a special spot in my head for reading paragraph twos of things).

PPPPS/PS^4: Anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is always watching you…*spooky music playing*

PPPPPS/PS^5: The domestic dog is actually a man-made genetic mutation of wild animals.

PPPPPPS/PS^6: You should have a child and name it Eggnog(Did I get enough of the letter P in this one? Remember the again aforementioned dented 2nd paragraph of my head? Well it also applies to my counting to 6 of P. Hey! Again Aforementioned is an alliteration I think and the alliteration is also an alliteration which is a paradox. While looking up the definition of Alliteration because I seriously forgot what it was I noticed: why does English grammar have such loose rules I mean look at this, copy and pasted straight from a Merriam Webster dictionary: alliteration

/əˌlɪtəˈreɪʃn/

noun

the occurrence of the same letter or sound at the beginning of adjacent or closely connected words.”the alliteration of ‘sweet birds sang’”). I don’t feel like writing anymore #burnout so I apologize but your going to have to figure it out yourself sorry #OxfordDictionary=Better.